it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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