you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
