actually, I'm a sock model
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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