I CAN MOONWALK!
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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