so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
