We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
