I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
