i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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