so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
