Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
