Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize
