Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
