I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
