I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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