And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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