Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
