fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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