i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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