i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
