I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
