I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
