sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
