I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
