It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
