forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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