Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
