He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I have surprise drugs for everyone
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
