dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just pee around me
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
