My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
she pinky promised me she was 18
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
