Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.

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(303): View more from Colorado

If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.

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(269): View more from Michigan

We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds

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(205): View more from Alabama

it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it

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(989): View more from Michigan

I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.

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(917): View more from New York City

we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability

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(517): View more from Michigan

I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.

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(941): View more from Florida

We still getting married? Or were you day drinking

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(904): View more from Florida

so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?

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