I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
