Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
