Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Shame - the story of my life.
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