What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
