Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
