Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
