Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Rumble strips road head = magical
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
