Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
