We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
