You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
