end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
