hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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