from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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