Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
