You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
