i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
