i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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