Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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