Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
