We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
