hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Nicole vs. Life
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
