dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
