yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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