i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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