He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
