glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
