uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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