I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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